


Worth Staying

by Kasket



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-10 22:14:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7863148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kasket/pseuds/Kasket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, life doesn’t work out the way that you expected. Chances are missed. People drift apart. The past continues to haunt you no matter how much you try to run. When Adam Parrish receives an invitation to Gansey and Blue’s upcoming wedding, he finds himself back in the unlikeliest places for the summer, Henrietta. His hometown that he’s been attempting to get away from his entire life. Adam thought he would never return, but life is unexpected and some things are worth coming back for. And some people are worth staying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> “Home wasn't a set house, or a single town on a map. It was wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together. Not a place, but a moment, and then another, building on each other like bricks to create a solid shelter that you take with you for your entire life, wherever you may go.” -Sarah Dessen

_The force of his father’s blow sent him stumbling back against the wall before he sunk into the floor, disorientated and dizzy. Adam desperately reached out to grab anything, something to ground him. Wide palms met the cool tile of the kitchen floor._

 

_“Adam, I just saw you throw yourself against the wall. Stop faking and get up off the fucking floor.” Adam didn’t move. He was trembling too badly._

 

_“Didn’t I say get up?” Adam heard his father growled._

 

_'Don’t say anything. Just do as you’re told.' That was how Adam learned to survive in Robert Parrish's house. He attempted to move, but his vision swam, and the world began to tilt and swirl like dull colored shapes in a kaleidoscope. Adam froze and shut his eyes against the swirling and the tilting, palms tightly clenching into trembling fists. His mouth betrayed him._

 

_“I can’t” His voice sounded feeble and broken to his own ears. Adam hated it. He hated how his hands trembled, and his heart raced erratically as he waited for the next blow. But none came._

 

_When he finally opened his eyes, his father still loomed over him like a dark presence, merely staring down at him with contempt._

 

_“You’re so fucking worthless, Adam. How did I end up with a loser for a son?” Sometimes words could bruise more than any punch or kick. Punches and kicks, you could tend to those. You could patch them up, and eventually they healed. But words. Words had a funny way of cutting inside you and leaving wounds that you didn't even know existed._

 

_When he finally heard his father’s footsteps retreating, Adam crumbled into the kitchen floor, stifling a quiet strangled sob. And he wondered what did he do to deserve this._

* * *

 

“Hello…” No matter how lively he attempted to make his voice, it sounded groggy and thick with exhaustion. The alarm clock on his nightstand displayed the time: 7:47 am. Who had the decency to call before 9 am?

 

“Adam. Did I wake you? I didn’t mean to rouse you from your sleep. Perhaps I should call at a more convenient timing.”

 

“Gansey?” Adam knew that voice anywhere. It was just enough to sober him up slightly as he pushed himself up on his elbows.

 

“I was asleep, but I can talk.” He told Gansey truthfully. Adam swung his legs off of the bed before he padded out of his bedroom and into the kitchen to prepare a cup of coffee. While he was up, he might as well finish his paper for his Criminal Justice Fellows Seminar.

 

Professor Whitling, his adviser, had been thoroughly impressed with his work all semester. Of course, he knew that Adam was an excellent law student. However, this semester was the first time that Adam had gotten around to taking a class with Dr. Whitling, who seemed completely blown away by how diligently Adam worked and seemed quite keen on him. It wouldn’t do to get lazy now that he was so close to finishing up his second year at Harvard Law School and becoming a 3L next fall. Years of suffering and exhaustion and working tirelessly and studying relentlessly. Adam was so close. And when he graduated, it would all be worth it because then he would finally be someone.

 

“It's so early. What is this about?”Adam asked, yawning softly. He had the coffee pot brewing already. As he waited for both the coffee to brew and Gansey to respond, Adam leaned into the countertop, one hand holding steadily onto the edge and the other cradling the phone to his ears.

 

“Uh…well, you see...” The falter in Gansey’s voice made Adam pause. Richard Gansey Campbell III at a lost for words. Seemed like an unheard of phenomenal, and yet here Gansey was floundering over his words.

 

A lot had changed since they graduated Aglionby. Their senior year, Gansey decided to go to Georgetown in DC. The close distance would allow him to return to Henrietta on the weekends. How Gansey managed to stay was something beyond Adam’s comprehension? When that Harvard acceptance letter came in the mailbox at the trailer park, Adam wept. Sunk down onto his knees in the dirt lot, and sobbed uncontrollably because he did it. He finally did it. And he was finally leaving. Not even the beating from his father later that night could take away that immeasurably joy from him.

 

Gansey (and Blue through association with Gansey) was the only person that he kept in touch with from Henrietta. They made it an obligation to talk every few weeks even if it was a couple of emails exchanged back and forth, a phone conversation, or a skype call. Noah and he kept up even less. Something that Adam had always felt bad about because he was partly to blame, letting his friendship fall by the waist side.

 

As for Ronan Lynch, well, they had lost all contact. Strangely enough, after Adam got accepted into Harvard. Adventures to the Barn stopped, sailing through grocery carts became obsolete, and witty banters grew non-existent. Ronan grew remote and distant, and Adam never knew why. It wasn’t that Adam hadn’t tried to keep in contact. Ronan never responded to any of his emails or calls when Adam first left for college. After a while, Adam gave up trying. Occasionally, Adam would ask Gansey how Ronan was fairing, but he only got a quiet sigh and “Ronan is Ronan”. That didn’t tell Adam anything. At least, he knew that Gansey taught at Aglionby, and on the summer and winter breaks, Blue and he traveled. Blue worked conserving the nature life in Henrietta. Noah lived in DC as an event planner but visited Henrietta at least once a year to help with the coordination of Raven Day at Aglionby, which had continued to grow into an even more spectacular celebration as the years rolled by. It recently started getting national press, putting Henrietta on the map. With Ronan, nothing. For all Adam knew, he could be dead.

 

“This is a very fascinating story Gansey. Worth getting up at the crack of dawn,” Adam said, smirking into the phone.

 

“Funny, Adam.” Gansey said dryly, making it quite apparent that he did not find his quip as amusing as Adam did.

 

“What I wanted to tell you…I asked Blue last night and she said yes.”

 

“Said yes to what?”

 

“You don't know? Did you not get my email that I sent you two weeks ago?”

 

“No, what email?” Adam asked curiously.

 

 I could have sworn I sent that email. I guess that explains why I never got a response back. That thing is…I proposed to Blue last night, and she said yes.” The words stopped Adam as he turned to reach for a mug in the cabinet, his arm mid-air.

 

"You asked Blue to marry you?"

 

"Yeah..." Gansey replied softly.

 

"And she didn't give you the spiel about how marriage is a patriarchal prison?"

 

"Don't let her hear you say that."

 

"That's..." It was Adam who was now at a lost for words.

 

"That's great. I'm really happy for you. Congratulations." Adam sincerely meant all of it.

 

"If you're calling because of the thing with Blue and I. That was years ago."

 

"No. It isn't about that!" Gansey quickly clarified; he sounded uncomfortable with where the conversation was headed. And suddenly Adam felt embarrassed that he would even assume the only reason Gansey would tell him was because of the rocky past with Blue. Things happened for a reason, and Adam and Blue just didn't work. Sure, things were tense and awkward after the break up, but Blue and Gansey were his friends. Maybe they weren't as close as they use to be before graduation, but he was happy for them nonetheless.

 

"I called because I wanted to ask you to be one of my groomsmen in the wedding."

 

"One of your..."

 

"Groomsmen."

 

"Yes, I heard you...wow." Adam mumbled softly to himself as he rolled the thought around in his head. Gansey wanted him to be apart of his special day. Adam fell silent. Apparently too silent because Gansey spoke up again.

 

"Blue and I discussed it together, and it would mean so much if you were to be part of the wedding this summer. It's been so long since any of us have seen you. It would be like old times. The gang reunited in Henrietta." Every bone in Adam's body froze.

 

"H-Henrietta..." Adam cringed at the stammer in his voice. He had spent his entire life running from his past with Henrietta, and just the word itself had rendered him powerless. That was another funny thing about words. They reminded you that you weren't completely healed. You were a very damaged person pretending to be well. And sometimes the words caught up with you.

 

"I know you left for your reasons, Adam. I am genuinely elated by all that you have accomplished in Boston. And I don't expect you to ever want to come back. And I don't even know what your summer looks like. I just assumed that you would be fre-"

 

"I'll do it."

 

"You will?" Adam forced himself to breathe.

 

"Yes. I want to be there for Blue and you." It was part of the reason Adam agreed. The other part felt entirely selfish, and Adam felt disgusted by his selfishness.

 

"Listen, I have a lot of work to do before I start my day. But we can talk later about wedding details."

 

"Absolutely! I'll talk to you later, Adam."

 

"I'll talk to you later." There was a distinctive click, and then Gansey was gone. Adam crossed his arms over his chest and stared up at the ceiling for what felt like a long time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“We leave something of ourselves behind when we leave a place, we stay there, even though we go away. And there are things in us that we can find again only by going back there.”_ -Pascal Mercier
> 
> In which Adam returns to Henrietta. Nothing says home like miserable summer heat, wedding shenanigans, and Blink 182.

_“You should let me teach you how to fight.” Adam didn’t bother looking up from his pre calculus homework. He merely snorted in response. The answer to d/dxtan(Sinx) was..._

 

_“I’m serious, Parrish. Let me teach you.” I’m serious. Those were the words that grabbed Adam’s attention. Looking up from his textbook, Adam expected to meet Ronan’s eyes, but instead Ronan’s gaze fell down as he chewed on one of his leather bracelets. He pulled back to examine his work._

 

_“Come on Lynch, when have you ever taken anything in your life seriously?” Adam scoffed as he started to go back to his homework. He heard Ronan ask him._

 

_“When are you going to stop letting your dad beat the shit out of you?” The pencil that Adam was holding slipped out of his grip. It caught Adam by surprise. It had been three months since he joined Gansey, Ronan, and Noah’s friend group. Was his dysfunctional home life really that apparent? And here he thought he was doing such a great job blending in seamlessly.  Adam regained his composure quickly and stared down intensely at the equation in front of him._

 

_“I have no clue what you’re talking about.” Adam complimented himself for keeping his voice cool and steady._

 

_“I’m not fuckin idiot, Parrish.” Adam kept his eyes glued to the page._

 

_“Like I said before, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Some of us are actually trying to study-hey! What are you doing?” Ronan had stood and pulled the book out of Adam’s reach._

 

_“Give me my book back, Lynch.”_

 

_“I’ve seen the bruises. You’re either doing this to yourself or someone is beating the shit out of you? My money's on your dad.” Adam felt raw and completely exposed in front of Ronan, of all people. All this time of pretending. And here was Ronan Lynch, lazy and privileged.  He had seen through him, reminding Adam that he was defective...worthless. Adam’s hand curled tightly into a fist._

 

_“What happens at my house is none of you business...”_

 

_“You can play dumb all you want, but, Gansey and Noah, they’re smart. They’ll figure it out. The way you keep missing classes and those shitty excuses-”_

 

_“I’m giving you a last chance, Lynch. Give me back my book.”_

 

_“Adam, stop be fuckin stubborn for once and let me teach you how to protect-” Ronan never got a chance to finish his statement. There was a streak of red. And then a horrible crash. And when Adam came to himself, the flower pot that held Gansey’s mint plant laid shattered on the floor and dirt spilled everywhere. The dull throb in his hand and the openly unguarded and shocked visage on Ronan’s face made it clear that Adam caused this mess. He didn’t even remember hitting the damn pot. He had been so angry. With Ronan for finding out his close kept secret. With himself for being foolish and deluded. With life for dealing him this shitty hand of cards.  So angry that he wanted to reach out and hit something._

 

_Oh God, I’m just like him. Adam panicked. His hand shook at the terrible thought. Ronan took a cautious step forward, and Adam flinched, stepping back._

 

_“Don’t come near me.”_

 

_“Hey Parrish, calm down.”_

 

_“I have to go.” Adam quickly gathered his backpack and his books. He had to get out of here._

 

_“Adam.”_

 

_Adam dashed out of Monmouth._

* * *

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Dulles International Airport, Washington DC. If you are boarding a connecting flight please check the arrival/departure boards throughout the airport for corresponding flights and times. Thank you for choosing American Airlines and welcome to Washington DC.” Like many other patrons on the plane, Adam had drowned out the droning voice of the pilot as he anxiously awaited to get off of the plane. They were all anxious. To get off the airplane and on to their next destination. When the seatbelt sign dinged and clicked off, Adam quickly leapt out of his seat on the aisle with his carry on. Of course, it didn't really make a difference with eighteen rows of people ahead of him who were also waiting to get off. Adam exchanged awkward eye contact with the person across the aisle from him as he wiggled himself into the center aisle, his neighbor closing in on his left. He felt claustrophobic as the center slowly began to fill with bodies. Adam needed off on this plane. He hated flying. The sensation of relinquishing control into another person's hands alarmed him. And the height made him jittery and made his stomach churn nauseatingly.

 

Ten minutes of awkwardly hesitating, shoving elbows, murmuring “excuse mes”, bumping luggage, and cramming everyone into the center aisle, Adam exited the plane. And despite the crowded, chaotic, and fast paced atmosphere of the airport moving around him, Adam felt liberated being off that god forsaken plane. He briskly made his way to baggage claim as he switched his phone from airplane mode. The phone, a small luxury he could afford once he got to college.

 

He typed out on his phone.

 

_‘Just got off of the plane. I’ll meet you at baggage claim.’_

 

_'Dat is dope!  Meet  u soon. Cant wait!!!!!’_

 

The text was followed by several heart eyed emojis and other emojis that Adam was unfamiliar and uncomfortable using _._

 

“Dope?” Adam murmured to himself, shaking his head as he traveled through the airport. A summer in Henrietta. It hadn't really hit Adam yet what he exactly signed himself up for. Corresponding with Gansey and Blue all  spring, Adam numbed himself to the revelation that he would physically be back in Henrietta.

 

Whenever the dread rose inside him, he reminded himself that he was going back for them, his friends. It was mostly true. He felt ashamed admitting the other reason. That this was proof to himself that Adam Parrish had changed. Adam Parrish was unmovable and unshakeable and not so easily damaged anymore. That if he had the courage to come back unafraid, than maybe he was freed of the shackles of his past. And when he left for good at the end of the summer, Adam Parrish wouldn't blink twice because Henrietta no longer had its sharp claws sunk into him.

 

“Adam! Hey! Over here!” Head snapping in the direction of his name, Adam was pulled back to reality. it wasn't hard to pinpoint the fair hair in the crowd, waving in his direction.

 

“Noah?” Before his brain could really process it, his body began to move in Noah’s direction as he pushed his way through the crowd. Noah collided into him, the force nearly knocking Adam off balance as they hugged.  Passer byers and onlookers may have been inconvenienced by it; Adam and Noah didn’t care.

 

“It’s been too long!” Noah chirped, grinning ecstatically  before taking a step back as he took all of Adam in.

 

“It's good to see you too, Noah.” He grinned.

 

“And you’ve even filled out too since I’ve last seen you. I mean, you were just a little tooth pick when I last saw you and skype really doesn’t do you justice.” Noah reached over and felt up the lean muscle on Adam’s arm. Adam grew slightly flushed at the embarrassing comment, but he let Noah’s hand stay because it was comforting. Being around Noah was comforting, like being around a ray of sunlight, and everywhere the light touched, it was warm.  Noah reminded Adam of what it felt like to be alive.

 

“I try to stay in shape.”

 

“My friend, you have succeeded.” Noah grin grew even wider. “Now, what do you say we grab your bags and  blow this popsicle stand?” Adam nodded. It didn’t take him very long to find his bag on the conveyor belt.

 

Stepping out of the airport with Noah, a wave of thick and muggy heat engulfed them. Adam had most definitely forgotten what he had gotten himself into because he forgot about the unbearable and unforgivable summers in Virginia.

 

“Has it always been this hot during the summer?” Adam asked, wiping at a trickle of sweat that had already begun to roll down his  damp skin. He hadn’t even been outside for a good minute yet. Noah seemed so relaxed and at home in the sweltering heat. His skin created a healthy sheen that Adam didn’t think was fair. Adam watched as Noah pulled a pair of dark stylish sunglasses out of his shirt pocket and slide them onto his face. The corners of his mouth turned up in a mischievous grin.

 

“The New England summer has spoiled you. What’s the temperature like up there?”

 

“It was 73 when I left.”

 

“No wonder you’ve gone soft on me. You’re lucky that we’re taking the mustang and not the Pig. It lost air conditioning.” Adam paused in the parking lot.

 

“The Pig is still alive?” He asked.

 

“Alive and kicking ass.”

 

“But it’s so old. Think of the mileage on that car, it should be impossible.”

 

“I think the Pig will outlive us all one day to be truthful.” Adam chuckled, and they continued trekking until they reached the car.  After throwing Adam’s luggage over into the seat of his convertible, Noah climbed in the convertible. The mustang roared to life.

 

“Oh, wait we need to document this.” Noah slid his sunglasses over his hair and pulled out his cellphone, positioning the camera so that they were both in the shot before snapping a photo of the two.

 

“This is great.” Noah handed the phone to show Adam. The photo showed Noah in the foreground, rumpled fair hair, his eyes vibrant and animated, and his mouth wide open and curved up in a bright smile. And in the background, Adam, leaned in over his shoulder, with a reserved smile of his own. Adam thought he looked a little awkward in the photo, but he nodded his approval anyway. At the bottom of the photo, he read the captions. #weddingshenanigans #IgottheBlueseys  #LookwhoIfound #frecklesgalore #reunitedanditfeelssogood. They made him laugh. Noah took back his phone and posted it before he pulled out of the parking lot.

 

“I hope you love Blink 182 because that’s what we’re listening to for the next few hours! This song is for you, Adam.” Adam groaned at the music choice, and Noah threw his head back and cackled.

 

“Your taste in music is almost as questionab-” Adam never got to finished the rest of that sentence as the guitar began to blare from the speaker.

 

“I’m sorry what was that? I can’t hear you over my shitty music!”

 

“ _I never thought I'd die alone_   
_I laughed the loudest who'd have known?_   
_I traced the cord back to the wall_   
_No wonder it was never plugged in at all_   
_I took my time, I hurried up_   
_The choice was mine I didn't think enough_   
_I'm too depressed to go on_ _  
You'll be sorry when I'm gone_ ”

* * *

 

Cities like Boston were ever growing, ever shifting, and ever changing. Henrietta seemed timeless and untouched as they drove through. A sleepy little town in need of awakening.

 

“Has anything changed here?” Adam asked, watching the scenery whip pass him.

 

“Nope.Henrietta is still small. Nino’s is still delicious. It’s still overran with Aglionby boys. And Aglionby boys are still dicks.”

 

“Noah, we were Aglionby boys.”

 

“My point still stands. I can’t tell if they’re more of dicks than we were or less.” Noah took a moment to seriously consider it.

 

“We literally had a Dick Gansey in our class.” Noah cackled at Adam’s joke.

 

“And none of them had to deal with Ronan Lynch.” Adam perked up curiously at the mention of Ronan. They had surprisingly gone the entire car ride without mentioning Ronan, and Adam didn’t want to awkwardly bring him up.

 

“It’s been awhile since I’ve seen Lynch.” Adam said, drumming his fingertips on his lap. It had been six years without a word from Ronan. He told himself that he wasn’t anxious to find out what Ronan had been up to.

 

“Well, you’ll see him tonight. That is for sure!” Noah chirped, eyes focused on the road.

 

“I will?”

 

“Dude...the wedding shower this evening? “

 

“I haven’t forgotten the shower this evening. It’s just…”

 

“It’s the idea of Ronan participating in wedding festivities, isn’t it? I’m not surprised Gansey asked him to be the best man. I mean, we all saw that coming. I’m still recovering from the fact that he’s persuaded Ronan into parading around in a tuxedo for the wedding.  I’ve been waiting for an image like that my entire life”

 

Adam envisioned the image. It was a strange and foreign idea, Ronan Lynch in a dark tuxedo suit. Very strange, but Adam liked the image that he saw.

 

Before Adam could say more, they were already pulling up at Monmouth Manufacturing. It looked just the same as he had left it the first time.

 

“Welcome to your humble abode for the summer.” As Monmouth towered over them, a strange feeling came over Adam. He had spent his high school career denying Gansey’s pleas to move into Monmouth. The irony that he would one day get to stay here was a little overwhelming.

 

When they came inside, Adam was even more amazed by how the interior looked both timeless and changing. Monmouth still held that faint smell of old books. Maps still lined the walls, books scattered the room, and Henrietta still mapped the floor, bigger and even more expansive since the years. And yet, the boyish charm of the place had faded and grew into something more domesticated. For instance, Gansey’s bed had been replaced with a sofa and coffee table. And assortment of small house plants, candles, and white Christmas lights decorated the apartment.

 

Adam heard rustling upstairs, and instantly moved to greet Gansey and Blue. He stopped immediately in his tracks when someone who distinctly wasn’t Gansey and Blue stepped out.

 

“I’m sorry to disappoint, Parrish. Gansey and Blue are on their way. They didn’t realize that you would get here so early. Hopefully, my presence should suffice.” Adam watched the stranger descend the stairs, catching a closer look at the person.

“Henry Cheng?” Adam asked incredulously.

 

“The one and only in the flesh.” A smirk played on his lips. He obviously enjoyed the reaction he pulled from Adam.

 

“Sup Cheng“ Noah greeted.

 

“Czerny.” They fist bumped, and Adam thought he had walked into the Twilight Zone. Since when were they friends with Henry Cheng? Laying out on the sofa, Henry peered up at him curiously.

 

“I heard that you’re running in the big leagues at Harvard Law. How’s that going for you?”

 

“It’s fine.” Adam said still recovering from what he just experienced.

 

“Which track?”

 

“Criminal Justice. I’m hoping to get into prosecution.”

 

“Nice.” Noah groaned, and hopped up on the coffee table as he gestured to the window. An action that surprised Adam a little.

 

“We’re finally together again. The birds are chirping. The sun is shining. And the day is beautiful. Let’s not ruin it by talking about work or school. We should be out painting the town red or something.”

 

Adam chuckled, shaking his head. “I haven’t even properly put my bags away.” He looked up the stairs. He knew that he would be taking Noah’s old room as Noah would be staying with his parents for the summer while commuting to DC over the summer.

 

“Is Lynch here?” Noah and Henry shared a look, and something passed between them that Adam couldn’t decipher.

 

“Someone has been living under a rock. Ronan doesn’t stay at Monmouth anymore.” Henry answered him.

 

“Ronan doesn’t stay here? Then where does he stay?”

 

“He went back to the Barn, Adam.” Noah said softly.

 

“The Barn...but I thought…” Then it hit him. Niall Lynch’s will. All of the Lynch brothers were over eighteen now. They could return to the Barn. Of course, Ronan went back. The Barn and Ronan, they belonged together.

 

Before Adam and even before Noah joined the group, Ronan’s dad had been mysteriously murdered in cold blood, and Ronan, just a child, found his body. Aurora Lynch, fell into a coma soon after. The Lynch brothers were left without a home and without a parent until the beginning of Ronan’s senior year. Miraculously, their mother recovered and like Sleeping Beauty, she awoke from a long slumber. Though she awoke, it was clear that Aurora wasn’t stable enough to join the real world again and take care of three teenage boys. They kept her at an assisted living facility. To Ronan, that didn’t matter. Adam thought Ronan was happy just to have his mother back.

 

“Oh…” He finished softly. The thought of Ronan at the Barn, finally home, it touched his heart and warmed it.

 

“I should unpack.” Adam walked up the stairs. He glimpsed inside Ronan’s old room which had turned into Gansey’s private bedroom. So much had changed. Adam tried to conjure up the image of Ronan’s old bedroom. Every small detail, but he was left with an insufficient and unsatisfying memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Feel free to chat with me on [Tumblr](http://rarity-kasket.tumblr.com/). Holla at yo girl.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I don't care if we have our house, or a cliff ledge, or a cardboard box. Home is wherever we all are, together,”_ ― James Patterson
> 
> In which Blue and Gansey return, Gansey’s sexuality is called into question, and there is a small child eating styrofoam under the table

_“Are you sure that this is okay?” Adam asked for the nth time again. He felt as though he was intruding on something that he shouldn’t. Yes, he has been here before with the gang, but that was the thing. Only with the gang. Never with Ronan, alone. This felt monumental. Like Ronan had entrusted Adam with something precious, a small gift. But that was Ronan. Always giving and giving and giving. And he never expected anything in return._

 

_“Don’t be stupid Parrish, it’s ill-fitting on you.”_

 

_“Don’t be an asshole. I just don’t want to intrude. I know how much your time means with her.” Ronan rolled his eyes as if Adam had suggested something so ridiculous._

 

_“She likes you. She even asked about you, which is why I brought you along.” Adam looked at Ronan, who actively went out of his way to avoid Adam’s gaze, biting down on one of his leather bands. Adam’s chest felt warm and full as if it would burst. She asked about him. She wanted him there. Adam Parrish was wanted. That just didn’t seem right. That couldn’t be right._

 

_“You’re joking with me?_

 

_“Why the fuck would I make something like this up?”_

 

_“I don’t know.”_

 

_“Just shut the fuck up Parrish before I throw you out one of these windows.”_

 

_“You wouldn’t.” Adam challenged._

 

_“Do you really want to test me?” Ronan smirked as Adam looked away. As they waited, a comfortable silence settled between them.  Every once in awhile, Adam would feel Ronan’s gaze flicker to him and away in practiced disinterest._

 

_When Ronan didn’t expect it, Adam turned his head, and their eyes met. His feigned disinterest morphed into alarment of being caught before melting into an expression so unguarded and unfamiliar and instantly back to disinterest. Ronan looked away, and the moment left Adam confused about what had transpired between them._

 

_“Fucking Parrish…” Adam faintly caught Ronan say. He wanted to ask Ronan what did he meant by that, but a nurse entered the lobby._

 

_“Ronan Lynch, you’re clear.” Ronan stood nodding his head in the direction of the door. “Are you coming Parrish?”_

 

_Wordlessly, Adam stood following Ronan through the halls. Honestly, the place felt more like a hospital than an assisted living facility. Stark, white, cold, and sterile. He hated it._

 

_They arrived at room 621. Ronan rapped his knuckles lightly on the door before he let himself in. Adam followed hesitantly. Adam hated the assisted living facility, but Aurora Lynch’s room felt like a piece of paradise on earth., Blue had volunteered to help Ronan decorate Aurora’s room one day. She used painted forest green closet shutters to cover the dreary white walls.  Exotic plants and wild, colorful flowers adorn every surface space and strings of clear Christmas lights draped from the ceils and weaved through the small crevices of the painted shutters. A miserable hospital room had been transformed into a space of light and life. Surprisingly, it was entirely Ronan’s idea. Adam began to deduce that Ronan was more than hard edges, sharp angles, and cruel smiles. All speed. All darkness._

 

_Aurora stood out on the patio, humming a soft melody as she watered bright yellow flowers. Her white gown and golden hair gently billowing in the wind. She looked absolutely breath-taking in the sunlight. Adam remembered asking himself where did Niall Lynch find this woman because Aurora felt to perfect and dream like to be real. Ronan stepped out on the patio with her._

 

_“Ronan,” She said softly. When she said Ronan, she said it with so much love and warmth as she reached up and touched his cheek. Adam looked away, afraid that he stumbled upon something private. He shouldn’t be here, and yet Ronan insisted in Adam coming._

 

_“You finally made it. Oh, and you brought Adam. How lovely?“ She walked over to him, placing both hands on his cheeks to get a good look at him. Her palms were warm, and her eyes were so kind. Ronan’s mother thought that it was lovely to see him. Adam’s mind hooked itself on the memory, replaying the moment in his head, analyzing the scene trying to detect a hint of falsehood. He found none. A harsh snap brought Adam back._

 

_“Oy, Parrish, my mother is speaking to you. Don’t be a dick.” Adam almost scowled at Ronan. Instead, he smiled tentatively at Aurora._

 

_“It’s really good to see you again Mrs. Lynch.”_

 

_“Don’t have to call me Mrs. Lynch. Please, call me Aurora.” Adam nodded as he took a seat in a chair. Aurora went back to watering her plants, humming softly._

 

_“Cabeswater spoke to me again. The trees, they whisper things to me.”_

 

_Adam’s eyes flickered to Ronan’s face, his expression genuinely open. Adam noticed that Ronan only reserved those looks for his mother, Matthew, and occasionally Adam would catch Ronan looking at him like that. Adam was unsure what that said about him._

 

_“Well, what did they say?” If this was Declan, he may have appeared upset by the statement and quickly changed the topic. Or Matthew, who wore his feelings on his sleeve, would have attempted to mask his sadness with a smile. But this was Ronan, who indulged Aurora as if he too could envision the Cabeswater that Aurora saw. The tree with the man shaped hole. The brightly colored fish that could turn any color that you wanted it. The forest of four seasons.  Aurora described it so beautifully that Adam thought that he could see it sometimes too._

 

_“I don’t know.” She furrowed her brow. “They speak in Latin. I don’t know any Latin. But I bet you boys do. You’re so smart. Especially you Adam, Ronan tells me so much.”_

 

_“Mom.” Ronan said, but his voice lacked the edge that it normally had._

 

_“Ronan and I do take Latin together. He’s probably just as good at Latin as me, if not better. He helps me a lot with my Latin homework.”_

 

_“That is my Ronan.  I remember the day Ronan was born. The trees all grew flowers and you could hear the ravens laugh-”_

 

_“Mom, I’m sure that Adam doesn’t want to hear boring stories about me.” Adam observed Ronan with his fist buried deep in his jean pockets, actively avoiding Adam’s gaze. Was Ronan Lynch... Bad ass, speed-demon, class-skipping Ronan... embarrassed? Adam smirked._

 

_“Actually, Aurora. I would love to hear more.” Adam’s smirk grew wider when their eyes met, Ronan scowling irritably at him._

* * *

 

Adam heard the Pig before he saw the it. He had nearly forgotten the earsplitting thunderous roar of the Pig, but he knew that there was no mistaken it. Dropping his t-shirt on the bed, Adam descended down the stairs both elated and nervous about seeing Blue and Gansey again. Even Noah had hopped up, and Henry looked up from his phone.

 

“Looks like they are back.” Adam noted.

 

“Quite the observer, aren’t you Adam?” Henry quipped, and Adam furrowed his eyebrows unsure if he should be insulted by the comment. Seriously, who invited this guy over? They have never gotten along with Cheng before. He hoped that Gansey had a good explanation for this. The knob twisted open, and standing in the doorway was none other than Blue and Gansey in the flesh. They both seemed genuinely happy to see him. Blue in her tank, dark shorts, and combat boots. Gansey in his pastel polo, khaki shorts, and those stupid boat shoes. They looked so odd standing next to each other, and yet so perfectly balanced.

 

“Gansey and I got here as soon as we could.” Blue flagged him over, and Adam met her halfway before she pulled him down into a fierce hug. Blue was still so tiny, so Adam had to hunch over a little to hug her.

 

“It’s great to see you too, Blue.” When he pulled away, Gansey was standing there, his eyes bright and smiling as he gazed at Adam. He looked so polished and regal. And like Henrietta, so different and yet just the same.  

 

“Gansey.” Adam said, taking Gansey all in. It took Adam a moment to realize that Gansey was also taking him in. He didn’t even think about how much he had changed too.

 

“Adam. It’s really good to have you back.” He said softly.

 

Blue scoffed and rolled her eyes.

 

“Stop eye-fucking and just kiss already, you two.”

 

“Wait, a minute.” Henry interjected, throwing an arm around Gansey. “I thought if we were experimenting with Gansey’s bisexuality that I would be the first person to test that hypothesis.”

 

“No way in hell am I letting you near Gansey. I’m actually afraid you would succeed in seducing him.”

 

“That’s fair. I mean, have you seen my legs and my hair? I’m always down for a threesome. Just saying.” Henry looked over at Gansey, whose cheeks were flushed by the topic of conversation.. And Adam reminded himself to pull Gansey aside and ask about Henry Cheng.

 

“Hey, I want in on this action!” Noah chimed in.

 

“Is this everyone’s way of confessing that you’re all secretly in love with Gansey?”

 

“I’m pretty sure that me being in love with Gansey is no secret, Blue.” Henry replied, leaning in to lay a smooch on Gansey’s cheek. Adam looked at the scene, bewildered by situation, but mostly by this group dynamic that had seem to form without him. Had he been away for so long? Gansey was the first to sense Adam’s bewilderment.

 

“We can save confession time for later.” He said before removing Henry’s arm from around his shoulders before moving in closer to Adam. “Did you get a chance to settle in? Are you hungry? Have you eaten yet?”

 

“Let him breathe, Gansey,” said Blue.

 

“I did some unpacking. Still not entirely unpacked yet. As for food, I suppose that I could go for lunch. I haven’t eaten since earlier this morning.”

 

“How about ordering a pick up at Nino’s? I don’t mind driving out to get it.” Noah suggested, and they all nodded in agreement. Noah pulled out his cell when Adam got a clear look at the wallpaper.

 

“I didn’t realize that Matthew and you were close friends now.” Noah looked up, mildly surprised. Adam gazed fell on the phone background photo of Matthew and Noah making silly faces.

 

“Well, Matthew lives in DC too, so we hang out often. Sometimes, Ronan joins us,“ Noah said,  Adam noticed that his face had gone slightly flushed.

 

“I think I’m going to step out and make this phone call.” No one thought anything of Noah leaving.  The room fell hush for a moment.

 

“I should finish unpacking,” Adam insisted, and Blue frowned.

 

“But you just got here. And you’ll have all night and all day tomorrow to unpack. “ She dragged him to the sofa, refusing to let him up.

 

So Adam talked about his criminal justice fellows seminar. And how next semester he would be taking a defence theory and practice class where he would be working with clients from juvenile cases. He talked about the friends he made at Harvard.

 

“No romantic suitors, huh?” Henry asked. Adam shook his head. Sure, he had been on a few dates with both men and women, but nothing really came of it.

 

“I don't really have time.” They took it as a reasonable answer.  After that, Blue and Gansey mostly led the conversation with Henry chiming in frequently. Apparently, Gansey and Henry were roommates at Georgetown all four years. Adam listened to their antidotes and inside jokes . And a nasty jealous rose inside him that he managed to squash down. He didn’t get to be jealous. He didn’t have the right. Adam made the decision to not come back, and for a good reason. He didn’t get to be to be upset about Gansey and Blue and Noah and Ronan branching out and moving on just like he had.

* * *

 

At the wedding shower that evening, Adam expected a lot of things when he arrived with Noah that night. He expected warm welcomes from Maura and Mr. Gray. He expected congratulations on his law school accomplishments from Gansey’s family. He expected inquisitive questioning from Declan. He expected someone to bring up that old ratty Coca Cola shirt, Calla never disappointed.

 

What he didn’t expect...a tiny human. A small child to be specific.  A small child chewing on a styrofoam cup all by herself under the kitchen table. All dressed up in a grey skull cap with strands of blonde peeking out, a light powder blue dress, and dark brown cowgirl boots. Did Adam mention that she was eating styrofoam? For a moment, he thought he had made this all up in his head. But nope, this was definitely real. She was definitely real. If he had to guess, she had to be around four or five years old. Adam looked around. He knew most of the guest at this shower. He couldn’t imagine this little girl belonging to anyone. No one noticed her there, and she seemed content to be left alone with her cup.

 

Their eyes meet. Her gaze was hard, piercing, challenging, and frighteningly familiar as she silently dared him to make a move. Who was this kid? Adam inched closer towards the table. Once he approached the table, Adam crouched down to meet tiny styrofoam-eating human on her level.

 

“Hey.” Adam smiled. A little softly. A little awkwardly. Tiny human blinked owlishly at him.

 

“Where are your parents?” Silence.

 

“Do you know where your parents are?” Nothing.  She was starting to get bored with Adam and his invasive questions. He could tell.

 

“It's not good for you to eat styrofoam.” Adam told her, and she fixed him a glare as if to say 'And?’ Adam liked her. She was a fighter, a survivor. He could tell.

 

“You're a tough little thing, aren't you?” She seemed pleased with the comment because a sharp grin spread across her lips and her chest puffed up a little. Adam felt warmed and pleased that he was able to draw that kind of reaction out of her. As a peace offering, she held out the styrofoam cup to Adam.

 

“No thanks. I'm too full. I'm Adam, by the way. What is your name?” Again, Adam received nothing. Great. Back to square one. Glancing down at her side. He spotted a stuffed raven lying next to her. She noticed where Adam gaze fell before instinctively grabbing for the stuffed bird. The stuffed animal was a little worn, and that was how Adam knew that it was loved.

 

“Who do we have here?” He motioned to the raven. And this time, he didn't expect her to answer, but she surprised him when she did.

 

“Chainsaw.” Adam thought he heard wrong. She didn't say Chainsaw. She couldn't have said Chainsaw. What parent let their kid name a toy Chainsaw?

 

“That's a...nice name. Chainsaw.” She grinned wickedly at the compliment.

 

“Shit, Opal don’t run away like that again-P-parrish?”

 

Adam turned his head in the direction of the voice.

 

“Ronan?” For a second, Adam almost over-looked him searching for that familiar shaved-hair. He never imagined Ronan with his hair grown out. And he would have never imagined Ronan with a mop of curly hair either. He looked good; Adam had to admit.

 

“KERAH!” Opal practically flew from under the table, attaching herself at Ronan who knelt down to meet her checking to see if she was okay.

 

Instantly, the pieces began to click together for Adam. And suddenly, it made sense.

 

“S-she yours?” Adam asked.

 

“And your point is Parrish” Ronan asked, wrestling the styrofoam cup out of Opal’s hands. He won, and little skull-cap girl named Opal glared at him. That was definitely a child produced by Ronan Lynch. His mind reeled. All this time that Adam had asked about Ronan, no one thought to mention that Ronan Lynch was a parent now.

 

“No point. It’s just-” A big meaty palm gently came down on his shoulder, Adam flinched. It was merely Matthew smiling at him.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, Adam. Oh great, you found Opal. Hiya Opal!” Opal reached her arms up and jumped. Somehow Matthew knew what that meant because he picked her up with one easy swoop and swung her round and round. For the first time since Adam met Opal, he saw her genuinely smile, squealing, shrieking, and laughing so gaily as Matthew spun her round and round and round.

 

Adam turned back to Ronan who watching them play, and he looked so soft and unguarded for a moment.

 

“No one told me that you had a kid,”  Adam tried not to sound so accusatory with the statement, but his emotions were starting to get to him.

 

“Well, that is none of your business, now is it?”

 

“With whom?” Adam knew that Ronan was right. Ronan didn’t owe him anything.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Whose Opal’s mother?”

 

“Why the fuck do you care so much Parrish?” Ronan sneered, and Adam faltered. He couldn’t explain why he was acting this way, and why it bothered him.

 

“I don’t.” He said irritably.

 

“You could have fooled me.” This wasn’t how he wanted his first meeting with Ronan to go. Adam wasn’t sure what he had expected. There were a lot of answers that Adam needed from Ronan, and it took everything not to just explode on him. _How come I never heard anything about you? Why didn’t you ever contact me? Did you just give up on me? Why did you kiss me that night?_

 

“She isn’t mine. Biologically.” Ronan appeared disinterested and detached as he confessed to Adam, but Adam knew that his feelings for Opal were far from disinterested and detached.

 

“Oh… “

 

“I found her around two years ago while taking a walk around the Barn one morning, just wandering alone, running a fever from being out in the cold for so long. I guess that the child services people saw that I was taking good care of her… so they let me keep her while they were investigating the situation. Turns out her bastard parents dropped her off in the middle of nowhere to fend for herself. ”

 

“That’s awful.” Adam said quietly, watching the way Ronan’s fists curled tightly in the pockets of his dark-washed jeans.

 

“No kid should have to grow up unwanted.” Adam’s eyes meet Ronan’s, and he felt struck to the core by the statement, but they were interrupted when Opal teetered towards them dizzily before she grabbed on to Ronan’s leg for support. When she finally found her center of gravity, she looked up at Adam. Her gaze remained strong and unwavering. It was disconcerting honestly. After what seemed like forever, she tugged down on Ronan’s pant legs.  And Ronan leaned down to meet her as she leaned up on the tips of her toes to whisper in Ronan’s ears. Adam watched as they quietly communicated. It was quite interesting watching them go back and forth.

 

Ronan glowered. “Why don’t you just ask him yourself?” Now it was Opal’s turn to scowl back.  She leaned back in to whisper furiously in Ronan’s ear, and Adam wondered what they could possibly be arguing about.

 

“You’re impossible.” He sighed before he looked up at Adam and stood. Opal ran behind Ronan’s leg, clutching tightly to Chainsaw. “Congratulations. I don’t know what you did to Opal, but she likes you.” Adam looked down at Opal, who ducked quickly behind Ronan’s leg.

 

“Oh, well I like Opal very much too.” When Adam looked up, Ronan was rubbing the back of his neck, looking oftly hesitant.

 

“Maybe you could stop by the Barn sometime and visit Opal. I think she would like that.” Adam realized that’s what they were arguing about. Opal peeked out to look at him, awaiting an answer.

 

“I would like that. I don’t have a car here, so can’t exactly drive.”

 

“That’s too bad-”

 

Opal punched Ronan in the back on the knee.

 

“Fuck, Opal!” Ronan glowered, and Opal glared back unafraid.

 

“Well, maybe we can pick you up or someone can drop you off at the Barn.” Adam looked between the two. What a strange pair they made.

  
“Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! Thanks for the support!


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